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Logophilia

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” – John Keating, Dead Poets Society.

Words are wonderful. I am a logophile (and a quicquidlibet) and spend most of my time in loganamnosis, alas to lilliputian avail. But words can espouse your deepest desire or your most fraught fear, one’s physiognomical beauty or the anamorphosis of one’s phizog. Yet, our society depends extensively on an infinitesimal vocabulary to express ourselves. Why would we use the word jocundity when we can use happy, or acrimonious when bitter works just as well. When is the idoneous use of idoneous? Or the apropos use of germane?

This anteloguy is completely duncical but I’m going to offer some euonyms, some cacophonies and a collection of the anomalous for your reading joie de vivre.

(Lol, never fear, no one actually speaks like this).

Manias

Gamomania

An obsession with issuing odd marriage proposals

Onychotillomania

The compulsive picking at one’s fingernails

Pteridomania

A passion for ferns

Rhinotillexomania

Compulsive nose picking

Oenomania

An obsession for wine

Metromania

A compulsion to write poetry

Words

Metrophobia

A fear of poetry

Epeolatry

The worship of words

Tsundoku

The act of leaving a book unread after buying it

(a Japanese word that doesn’t have a direct synonym in English)

Wordnesia

When even the simplest word looks weird and wrong

(I had wordnesia with ‘what’ the other day…)

Verbicide

The destruction of the meaning of a word

Books

Vellichor

The strange wistfulness of bookshops

(I love this feeling!)

Librocubicularist

Someone who reads in bed

Bibliobibuli

Those who read too much

Stichomancy

Divining the future from lines in books chosen at random

Rhapsodomancy

Divining the future by picking a passage of poetry at random

Omnilegent

Someone who has read everything

Hamartia

A fatal flaw that leads to the downfall of a tragic hero/heroine

Bodies

Pogonotrophy

The act of growing and grooming facial hair

Agastopia

The admiration of a particular part of someone’s body

Evancalous

Pleasant to embrace

(What a sweet compliment!)

Phobias

Kakorrhaphiophobia

The fear of failure

Parthophobia

The fear of virgins

Linonophobia

The fear of string

Geniophobia

The fear of chins

Pteronophobia

The fear of being tickled by feathers

Oenophobia

The fear of wine

Arachibutyrophobia

The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth

(my favourite word of all time) 

Triskaidekaphobia

The fear of number 13

Macrophobia

The fear of prolonged waiting

Panophobia

Melancholia marked by groundless fears

Food & Eating

Xertz

To gulp down something quickly and greedily

Apivorous

Those who eat bees

Ichthyophagous

Those who eat fish

Pagophagia

The eating of trays of ice to help offset an iron deficiency

(…?)

Myrmecophagous

Those who eat ants

Nature

Petrichor

The scent outside after it rains

(Bliss) 

Jillick

To skip a stone across water

Zoanthropy

The delusion of a person who believes himself changed into an animal

Nubigenous

Cloud-born

Psithurism

The sound of the wind and rustling leaves in the trees

Plain bizarre (and sesquipedalian) words

Lautenclavicymbel

A lute harpsichord with gut strings

Podobromhydrosis

Smelly feet

Eellogofuscioushipoppokunurious

Good

Gynotikolobomassophile

One who nibbles on women’s earlobes

(there’s an actual word for this… no joke)

Perpilocutionist

One who speaks through his hat

Zenodocheionology

A love of hotels

Nonsensical

A variation of words meaning nonsense, or an amphigouri:

  • Quatsch
  • Morology
  • Kelter
  • Flimflam
  • Flummadiddle
  • Fadoodle
  • Bugaboo
  • Clatfart
  • Galimatias
  • Rannygazoo
  • Schmegeggy
  • Stultiloquence

I hope this was lepid!

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